Another 'contribution' from an alternative author. The following is from a 'list' which forms an entire chapter in Matt Haig's quite wonderful observation of the species - around which he has constructed a delightful narrative. Like so many other volumes, it is a great mistake to dismiss it as 'just a children's book'.
All the advice is sound, despite some entries being more specifically related to the narrative itself. I have only selected 72 from the full count of 97, plus I've made minor edits on some for the purpose of this post. As a consequence, my numbering differs from that in the book. I find (my numbering) 49, 50 & 51 a nice trio. 55 always makes me smile. And, among others, 3 & 71 are particularly suited to my Daoist outlook.
I feel compelled to add the usual disclaimer concerning advice, as originally penned by Mary Schmich for the Chicago Tribune in 1997:
'Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.'
Enjoy ... And read the book!
My selections from 'Advice for a human', The Humans, Matt Haig, 2013
1. Shame is a shackle. Free yourself.
2. Don't worry about your abilities. You have the ability to love. That is enough.
3. Be nice to other people. At the universal level, they are you.
4. Technology won't save humankind. Humans will.
5. Laugh. It suits you.
6. Be curious. Question everything. A present fact is just a future fiction.
7. Peanut butter sandwiches go perfectly well with a glass of white wine. Don't let anyone tell
you otherwise.
8. Sometimes, to be yourself you will have to forget yourself and become something else. Your
character is not a fixed thing. You will sometimes have to move to keep up with it.
9. Sex can damage love but love can't damage sex.
10. You shouldn't have been born. Your existence is as close to impossible as can be. To dismiss
the impossible is to dismiss yourself.
11. Your life will have 25,000 days in it. Make sure you remember some of them.
12. The road to snobbery is the road to misery.
13. Tragedy is just comedy that hasn't come to fruition. One day we will laugh at this. We will
laugh at everything.
14. Wear clothes, by all means, but remember: they are clothes.
15. One life form's gold is another life form's tin can.
16. If you become an architect, remember this: The square is nice. So is the rectangle. But you
can overdo it.
17. Don't worry about being angry. Worry when being angry becomes impossible. Because then
you have been consumed.
18. Happiness is not out here. It is in there.
19. New technology, on Earth, just means something you will laugh at in five years. Value the
stuff you won't laugh at in five years. Like love. Or a good poem. Or a song. Or the sky.
20. There is only one genre in fiction. The genre is called 'book'.
21. Dogs are geniuses of loyalty. And that is a good kind of genius to have.
22. If there is a sunset, stop and look at it. Knowledge is finite. Wonder is infinite.
23. Don't aim for perfection. Evolution, and life, only happens through mistakes.
24. Failure is a trick of the light.
25. You are human. You will care about money. But realise it can't make you happy because
happiness is not for sale.
26. You are not the most intelligent creature in the universe. You are not even the most
intelligent creature on your planet. The tonal language in the song of a humpback whale
displays more complexity than the entire works of Shakespeare. It is not a competition. Well,
it is. But don't worry about it.
27. One day humans will live on Mars. But nothing there will be more exciting than a single
overcast morning on Earth.
28. Don't always try and be cool. The whole universe is cool. It's the warm bits that matter.
29. You will contradict yourself. You are large. You contain multitudes.
30. No one is ever completely right about anything. Anywhere.
31. Everyone is a comedy. If people are laughing at you, they just don't quite understand the
joke that is themselves.
32. Your brain is open. Never let it be closed.
33. In a thousand years, if humans survive that long, everything you know will have been
disproved. And replaced by even bigger myths.
34. Everything matters.
35. You have the power to stop time. You do it by kissing. Or listening to music. Music, by the
way, is how you see things you can't otherwise see. It is the most advanced thing you have.
It is a superpower.
36. A paradox. The things you don't need to live - books, art, cinema, wine and so on - are the
things you need to live.
37. A cow is a cow even if you call it beef.
38. No two moralities match. Accept different shapes, so long as they aren't sharp enough to
hurt.
39. Don't be scared of anyone.
40. At some point, bad things are going to happen. Have someone to hold on to.
41. Alcohol in the evening is very enjoyable. Hangovers in the morning are very unpleasant. At
some point you have to choose: Evenings, or mornings.
42. If you are laughing, check that you don't really want to cry. And vice versa.
43. Don't ever be afraid of telling someone you love them. There are things wrong with your
world, but an excess of love is not one.
44. You are not the only species on Earth with technology. Look at ants. Really. Look. What they
do with twigs and leaves is quite amazing.
45. It is not the length of life that matters. It's the depth. But while burrowing, keep the sun
above you.
46. Obey your head. Obey your heart. Obey your gut. In fact, obey everything except
commands.
47. One day, if you get into a position of power, tell people this: Just because you can, it doesn't
mean you should. There is a power and a beauty in unproved conjectures, unkissed lips and
unpicked flowers.
48. Start fires. But only metaphorically. Unless you are cold and it's a safe setting. In which case:
Start fires.
49. Be alive. That is your supreme duty to the world.
50. Don't think you know. Know you think.
51. As a black hole forms it creates an immense gamma-ray burst, blinding whole galaxies with
light and destroying millions of worlds. You could disappear at any second. This one. Or this
one. Or this one. Make sure, as often as possible, you are doing something you'd be happy
to die doing.
52. War is the answer. To the wrong question.
53. Physical attraction is, primarily, glandular.
54. No one will understand you. It is not, ultimately, that important. What is important is that
you understand you.
55. A quark is not the smallest thing. The smallest thing is the regret you will feel on your deathbed for not having worked more.
56. Politeness is often fear. Kindness is always courage. But caring is what makes you human.
Care more, become more human.
57. In your mind, change the name of every day to Saturday. And change the name of work to
play.
58. When you watch the news and see members of your species in turmoil, do not think there is
nothing you can do. But know it is not done by watching news.
59. You get up. You put on your clothes. And then you put on your personality. Choose wisely.
60. Language is euphemism. Love is truth.
61. You can't find happiness looking for the meaning of life. Meaning is only the third most
important thing. It comes after loving and being.
62. If you think something is ugly, look harder. Ugliness is just a failure of seeing.
63. A watched pot never boils. That is all you need to know about quantum physics.
64. You are more than the sum of your particles. And that is quite a sum.
65. To like something is to insult it. Love it or hate it. Be passionate. As civilisation advances, so
does indifference. It is a disease. Immunise yourself with art. And love.
66. Dark matter is needed to hold galaxies together. Your mind is a galaxy. More dark than light.
But the light makes it worthwhile.
67. Which is to say: Always know that life is not still. Even when the darkness is total. Time is
space. You are moving through that galaxy. Wait for the stars.
68. At the sub-atomic level, everything is complex. But do not live at the sub-atomic level. You
have the right to simplify. If you don't you will go insane.
69. But know this. Men are not from Mars. Women are not from Venus. Do not fall for
categories. Everyone is everything. Every ingredient inside a star is inside you, and every
personality that every existed competes in the theatre of your mind for the main role.
70. You are lucky to be alive. Inhale and take in life's wonders. Never take so much as a single
petal of a single flower for granted.
71. You don't have to be anything. Don't force it. Feel your way, and don't stop feeling your way
until something fits. Maybe nothing will. Maybe you are a road, not a destination. That is
fine. Be a road. But make sure it's one with something to look at out of the window.
72. Be kind to your mother. And try to make her happy.
